Does persistence pay?
Sure it does,when it comes to career,studies,games,but what about relationships?I have seen people persist for over a year on someone and still be unsuccessful and some who did manage to win over after many such battles.Much as i am amazed with this,what amazes me more is the conviction that they have- both in themselves and also in the relationship.How can people ever be so sure?And even if they are sure,how do they manage to keep aside that ego/pride and throw themselves again and again,heedless of numerous rejections and finally manage to wear the other person down into saying an “Yes” and do such relationships survive?Is it love or is it a resigned “Ok i give in” or is it “Oh well i might as well settle for this” or is it that they finally realized what they had been blind to for so long?
Its very subjective. And depends on who your muse is and how well you know him/her
maybe the chase gets easier once you get a taste of what it could be like.
But yeah!! when you see a chase like that happening live.. the determination is enough to blow your mind.
One of those things that you will understand as soon as you experience it. Perseverence or call it more of this unseen attachment, within those undefined boundaries where all makes sense. A voice that says this is the real deal. This is what they wrote ballads and books about. An understanding that tells you this is what you have been looking for.
When you realise the above ego/pride only seems like vices to hold your arrogance at accepting what you truely feel. In such situations resignment, wearing them down is never the intention. Maybe some end up seeing the other perspective. The whole true picture. Thats when it works out.
@Resh
yeah i know,it definitely blows you away and i wonder is that why the other person finally gives in because they just are so overwhelmed that someone is going to such lengths for them and if so,is that a good basis for a relationship?
@Watcher:
I would have liked to know your real identity :),you are still one of those who hasnt been converted to a cynic i guess :D,a true rarity in these days..
“A voice that says this is the real deal” - well trust me even with that voice saying that in my head, i always thought that love/liking was something that can never be forced or persuaded…its either there or not.So,how does it make sense to persist when you know that the other person is not interested.
Unless ofcourse that interest is there on the other side too,maybe thats when it makes sense to persist.But again,isnt there always a fear that the other person said yes in one weak moment,just gave in,not necessarily coz they loved you but only coz “its better than nothing”!!
“hasnt been converted to a cynic”, Didn’t say that giving into your calling meant victory always. Things don’t go your way most times. One is not persisting to change the other’s mind. Just because the other person will never feel what you do, does that mean you want rip out what you most believe in or know is ‘your’ truth. why does that forbid you to express yourself? ego/pride maybe? There is nothing demeaning if you love a person who doesn’t like you back. And just after a rejection if have been able to give up on it, it only means that you didn’t like him/her to that great extent. Maybe that wasn’t the real deal?
Like you I have no perfect answers. But when one feels superlatives of emotions that you have only heard, its hard to throwing it out of the window. Bestway is to experience it fully and let time and tide take to a different place.
“person said yes in one weak moment” Well they might just have said yes to a person who thoroughly loves them and you will never feel less loved. And the one who recieved the yes, many a times all that person wanted to do was shover the love and nothing more. (Bear in mind, this is just my perspective and my beliefs) Yes! such people exist.
@Watcher
“And just after a rejection if have been able to give up on it, it only means that you didn’t like him/her to that great extent”
I did not say anything about giving up on it,you cannot turn off feelings even if the other person said no.I just said whats the use of trying to persist with changing the other person’s mind?
“Well they might just have said yes to a person who thoroughly loves them” - yeah,but what if they dont love the person?!
I would like to share an article from xkcd to prove my point
http://xkcd.com/513/
That last but one strip where “only that wistfulness……..this wasnt the ending you hoped for”
This is what i was talking about,you dont want to be in such a relationship.I dont want to look into the other person’s eyes and see someone else there
I would rather wish the other person to be happy with whoever they choose to be with and walk away even if it means i end up with a heart break
I agree with Watcher. There is no ego/pride with the one you really like. Nearer or far, the feeling might remain, the intensity of those feelings remind you that this is what you were looking for. So guess there is no off switch sometimes. So it just stays there. Even though you might not want to convince the person or coax to get back. What you have just remains…
I like this - “Bestway is to experience it fully and let time and tide take you to a different place”
@Rash : as I told you the yes comes out if and only if they had something even very remotely. Otherwise you can’t just convince the human brain into giving in that easily if its a 100% no.
I guess I always put efforts, for everything. Because I guess in life you regret the things that you did not do more than the ones you did. Atleast at the end of life you would not have any regrets.
Give it time and watch the ones who you think might have said yes in a moment of what you call weakness. That will be one decision that they will be glad they made. (From what I have seen)
If they had any doubts about it before the yes, then its their own fault that they weren’t so adamant with their ‘no’. The one who has always liked them, has always been the same, a constant. Its the variable thats undefined. The constant just wants to shower his/her love, even without much in return. With an yes or no their feelings wouldn’t have changed.
All aside what i’m trying to say is, as always yes/no is the variable’s problem. Its always been through ages. So is the consequence!
@Swe,
Maybe so,i guess each person deals with this in her/his own way and its different for each one.
This entry was just a way to express my amazement with this concept as i have seen it around me with quite a few people.
“Because I guess in life you regret the things that you did not do more than the ones you did”
The philosophy of my life Goli
@Watcher:
All said and done,i kinda believe “If its meant to be,it will” 
Well,i guess there are no “right answers” or “right way” to deal with these things.This topic was something i often wondered on as i have seen this happening with a lot of my friends.It was nice to get different perspectives and what surprised me most was everyone rooting for persisting!That was quite an eye opener
A very interesting set of comments after the original post. Sometimes, this is one of the topics which gets brushed aside “lets agree to disagree” sort of fashion, but I think a discussion like this brings out how opposite views can be.
For myself, I would like to believe to that there is “the one”, and there are such “superlatives” of emotions when I see her, but… my experience tells me that there is a very slim possibility that something like that exists.
:),yes the comments sometime are more interesting than the post itself
and i hope you do find the “one”